


I don't like thinking about you (but I do anyways)

by LaneyLoo



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Edd never really asked for Tom to act this way, Edd's pretty adorable but serious, Eventual Smut, M/M, Matt is just pure, Slow Burn, Tom is actually the biggest dick of all, Tom is literally just so confused, Tom pretends he has no feelings, Tord can be a dick at times, Tord is a patient boi but you guys will see soon enough, Will add tags as I go, he's very wrong lol, the chapters will be longer i swear, wait
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:31:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaneyLoo/pseuds/LaneyLoo
Summary: Tom and Tord have a very... complicated relationship to say the least.Tom acts like he has no feelings, trying to stay as emotionally separated as possible from Tord. In reality, he just doesn't know how to cope properly with the newfound emotions.Meanwhile, Tord is head over heels in love with Tom and he makes sure he knows. But when Tom starts to act more and more unusually separated from him, he starts to wonder what's really going on.





	1. A Very Different Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, henlo you beautiful beans! This is my first published fic and,, I'm trying here, sorry if it's absolutely horrible. I hope you enjoy!

Tom and Tord have a very... complicated relationship to say the least.

Every morning starts the same. The same old bickering arguments back and forth between the horned man and the one in blue. And per usual, Tom always has the most original of comebacks for Tord, often ending the conversation by just calling him a "commie fucker" and hastily storming off.

But this morning was different, very different.

Tord was starting off his morning as usual, lazily getting out of bed and trudging off to the kitchen for a fresh cup of coffee, because of course, Tord can't properly start his morning and function without his cup of joe. As he was pouring the cup, he could hear faint shuffling behind him and going over to the table, causing a slight squeak to sound around the was quiet kitchen. He already has a feeling who else would be up at such an hour and doesn't turn around to face the man, instead he places the jug of coffee back in its holder and takes a sip.

"Ah, hello Thomas. I see you're up early, rough night?"

Naturally, Tom takes this as an insult and scoffs lightly, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Why do you care?" Tom manages to growl out before glaring daggers at Tord's back.

Tord gives a light laugh, it almost would've been considered adorable to Tom if he wasn't completely out of his morning daze. He quickly shakes his head and attempts at fixing his spiked morning monstrosity sitting atop his head.

"What, am I not allowed to be concerned about a good old friend of mine? " Tord says, turning around and leaning against the kitchen counter, smirking ever-so-slightly at Tom. He takes another sip from his mug before setting it back down on the counter behind him.

Tom quickly notes that Tord looks like absolute shit. He had these deep, dark bags hanging underneath his eyes, making it seem like he hasn't slept for days on end. Well, at least not sleep well. Tom gives a fake smile back and rests his head on his hands.

"Yeah, 'good old friend', huh? You know very well I fucking hate you, don't give me any of that fake shit, Tord," he flashes another fake smile at him again before getting up and lazily making his way over to the coffee brewer, about to reach up and grab a mug from the cabinet before Tord quickly whips around and grabs one for him, about to pour some coffee for Thomas before the one in blue punches him square in the shoulder. Tord gives a small yelp and shoots a glare his way.

"Thomas, fucking hell, just let me pour the coffee for you, you're clearly getting over a horrid hangover by the state you're in," Tord says before quickly filling the cup up before Tom can get the chance to punch him again.

Tom lets out a scoff and tries to pull the mug back.

"Yeah, I'm in /such/ a horrible state aren't I? Look at yourself, you look even worse you commie fucker," Tom snarls out.

"Oh, how original, Thomas. I'm so insulted by that nickname you literally call me every day. I try to do something nice and this is how you repay me?" Tord gives a quick tug on the cup back.

"Nice?! You're just mocking me, trying to insult me by making me feel like I'm worthless and can't even get my own breakfast! I know how you are, you stupid.. stupid fuck!" He gives another strong pull before successfully grabbing the mug back in his hands and falling square on his butt.

A loud crash could be heard around the room, Tord just stares there in shock as the coffee once in the mug in now laying in dark-brown puddles across the floor, along with Tom sitting there dumbfounded and quickly looking around before shooting up and pushing Tord from his chest.

"You little shit! Look what you did, thanks a fucking ton, asshole!" Tom was about to swing another punch at him, this time aiming for his face before Edd quickly rushes in and stands at the doorway with the same expression Tom had just mere seconds ago.

"Oh my.. God. Guys, what the hell happened-" Edd doesn't bother to finish his sentence and quickly rushes over to where Tom and Tord are, pulling Thomas away from the one in red quickly before he can cause any further damage.

Tom just growls at the new restraint he has, attempting to trash around and remove himself from Edd's grip. This doesn't accomplish anything but causes Edd to hold him even tighter, looking down at him with a disappointed expression.

"Tom, come on. I know you're better than this. Why are you acting so aggressive all of the sudden, especially in the morning? God," Edd manages to mumble out before Thomas successfully removes himself from his friend's grip and whips around to face him.

"I-.. just, shut up! Both of you! God, leave me the hell alone!" Tom exclaims, shooting one last glare at Tord before turning around on his heels and running back to his room, slamming the door in the process. 

Thomas needed to relax. He needed to get away from... him. He needs to forget about him, forget his feelings and emotions and whatever crap he has and drink it all down like he always does.

What a very different morning indeed.


	2. Don't Cry over Spilt Milk (or coffee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody is just confused.
> 
> Like.
> 
> Really confused.
> 
> Also, Matt makes a beautiful appearance!
> 
> This p.o.v. kinda switches between third and Tord's view on things, at least during his thoughts.
> 
> (this is mainly backstory, a crazy Halloween story about Tord being a weeb, and Tord being extremely jealous of Matt and Edd.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter! I'm honestly so excited to see how this fic will turn out, and if you guys even like it or not. The first few chapters will be just the main plot brewing up, don't worry, there will be a lot more drama to come!

Tord was, naturally, _very_ confused.

He could've sworn this was some weird dream he was having, or he was still in some strange morning daze where everything just seems extremely surreal.

So what does he do?

Well, he pinches himself.

And?

It's not a dream.

Edd has the same glazed expression as Tord, clearly wondering the same thing. He was about to speak up to Tord, about to ask exactly what the hell happened, but he gets cut off once more as Matt enters the kitchen. He glances over and notes his appearance. Matt's hair was in perfect condition already, the ginger never seems to have a moment where he isn't absolutely stunning.

But you didn't hear that from Edd.

The ginger yawns, stretching his torso up slightly and giving a small groan in response before rubbing his eyes and drowsily speaking.

"Mm, morning guys... what's for breakfast- oh. Oh my," Matt's eyes widen at the sight of the kitchen floor, puddles of coffee splattered everywhere across the tile, and what seems to be shattered remanents of the mug. He gives a worried glance at both Tord and Edd before walking over to where the broom resides to sweep the shattered pieces up.

Edd sighs and runs his hands through his hair, looking down at the floor where Matt was currently working.

"Just... don't ask. It's honestly better if you didn't," replies Edd, working his way over to the sink to find a sponge to clean the remaining puddles up.

Tord frowns slightly at this, I mean, it's certainly not the worst thing they've done! Like the time where Tord and Tom got into a fight on Halloween over who had the best costume, and Thomas called Tord a 'weeaboo' because he was dressed up as Viktor Nikiforov from his favorite gay skating anime, then Tord got overly aggressive and ended up ruining the Jell-O bowl by, well...

He'll spare that detail.

But besides that, Tord believes there isn't a reason that Edd should act so surprised and upset by the fact that they had a careless little fight. And over a cup of coffee? He thinks it's ridiculous. He was trying to be nice and do a small favor for the brit, and it may or may not have been just a bit of a flirt. Because, well, Tord actually really likes Thomas. He thinks he's cute in his own... special little way. Fiesty, but adorable. And Tord likes feisty.

But would he ever admit that to anybody, let alone Thomas?

Never, not even in his wildest dreams.

Tord knows Tom doesn't feel the same. He clearly doesn't, Thomas seems to hate Tord with a burning passion. He seemingly gets more aggressive every day. But when it comes to Edd or even Matt? Tom is as kind as he can be. Thomas even goes as far as complimenting Matt's looks quite often, which of course Matt absolutely adores and gushes about.

 _Especially_ to Edd.

Which raises some questions for him. Why Edd of all people? Sure, he's a great guy and all, but Edd? God, Tord thinks Tom is just the weirdest.

But, like a weird kinda cute, y'know?

Tord is quickly snapped out of his thoughts with a tap on his shoulder, he turns and faces Edd, who looks very pissed off.

"Tord, don't you think it'd be nice to go and check on Tom, since, after all, you two caused this huge mess?" Edd remarks, crossing his arms in the process.

Tord huffs slightly and gives Edd a glare.

"I... I guess? If you want, I suppose. Don't be surprised if there's more fighting then, you brought this on yourself," Tord snappily replies before turning on his heels and reluctantly heading for Tom's room. Tord was about to knock and call out from behind the door if he's okay, but he quickly stops himself and lowers his hand from the door.

Was.. was Thomas _crying?_

He was definitely crying, Tord could tell. He could hear the sobs and sniffles coming from the other side. He was about to give up and lie to Edd, saying he talked to him for a moment then kicked him up, but he decides against it and raises his fist back up, giving a soft knock before calling out to him.

"Tom? Are you alright?" Tord lowers his hand once more, waiting for a response, silently listening for any signs of moving or snarky remarks back at him, but he got nothing.

Until Tom quickly swings the door open.

And god, Tord took one look at him and realized he must've been crying for a while.

Tom takes one grimacing look back at Tord before looking him dead in the eyes and replying.

"Fuck you, fuck off. I hate you, stay the hell away from me, commie fucker," Thomas replies, then slamming the door back in Tord's face in the process.

Tord stands there dumbfounded and confused as all holy hell, staring blankly back at the door without a response or even making a move to open the door again, or walking away and giving up.

What a morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I got a Tumblr! It's called: laneyloodreamsandmemes (remember, all kudos and comments are super appreciated and I'll reply to every single one!)


	3. A New Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom looks back in his past memories with Tord and figures his shit out.
> 
> (This will be mainly focused around Tom and how he feels. His memories will contain italics. This is also some more plot development, the next chapter is guaranteed to be spicy!)

Tom was _furious_

No, not even just furious, he was literally seething.

He was pissed at the fact that Tord makes him that way, even seemingly over the stupidest of things. He was pissed that he even had to show himself like that to Tord. And most of all, he was pissed at _himself._

Thomas was beyond frustrated at the fact that he has to be so damn rude to Tord, no matter what. And it's not like he can even help it, it's just a constant reaction, a habit because he's so used to it. He's tried to calm down, give Tord a chance and let him talk, but his anger just overwhelms him and he just explodes.

So now here he was, having his own fucking pity party and slumping down against the door. In all honesty, he was pretty pathetic and such an asshole for acting that way when in reality, Tord was just trying to help. He wasn't _mocking_ him, of course only Tom would think that Tord has greater intentions than he actually did.

Tom runs his hand through his spiked hair, giving a shaky sigh and using his free hand to wipe away the tears from his cheeks. He quickly acknowledges that not only does he look like shit, he _feels_ like shit. Thomas stares at his sad self through the mirror, he tries to remember the last time he actually cried like that.

Oh wait, he does remember.

Of course, it was a memory with Tord.

Thomas sniffs and closes his eyes, thinking about the past event with Tord.

_"Tord! What the actual fuck, why would you do this?!" Tom growls and slams his hands down on the table, confronting the horned man._

_Tord gives a chuckle and looks over at his masterpiece. While Tom was drunk out of his mind and fell asleep at the kitchen table, he smoothed his hair down and pulled it into pigtails, also giving his face a little makeover. But just with some blush, he wouldn't go crazy and add globs of foundation on him or anything._

_"Because it's cute, you look great this way, Thomas. You should consider it a new look," he then gives a sly smile and rests his head on his palms._

_Thomas huffs exasperatedly and storms up, knocking the chair down to the floor in the process. Tord quickly sits up and gives him a questioning look, his eyes quickly moving up to face him._

_"You're a fucking ass, I can't believe you think this is a joke, how would you feel if I did this bullshit to you?" Tom seems to have this weird glint in his eyes that is actually scaring Tord quite a bit, but he shrugs it off._

_Tord chuckles once more. "Well, I can't say I'd really care-" pain suddenly shoots through his body, there's a loud snap of what seems to be bones and his hands quickly fly up to his nose, where the pain was registering and he howls in pain._

_Tom quickly retracts his hand and looks at what he's just done in shock, Tord's nose was literally gushing blood and wasn't bending in what they'd call a normal angle._

_"Oh my god, Tord, holy shit, I'm so fucking sorry I can't believe that I-"_

_His sentence was quickly cut short by Edd rushing into the kitchen and gasping, looking over at Thomas quickly before helping Tord up and quickly bringing him outside to the car._

_Thomas did nothing but weep in the hospital room that night._

All of these thoughts were driving Tom quickly, more tears threatening to spill out. He needs to think of something happier, a better memory with Tord.

_Tord was calling out Tom's name in the distance, the four of them decided to go camping for the weekend at this beautiful sanctuary park. Thomas hasn't seen so much wildlife in one place before in his life._

_Thomas quickly follows Tord into the shrubbery, moving the branches away as he went before he stumbled right into Tord's back as he stops suddenly._

_"Fuck, sorry-" Thomas quickly apologizes before moving over and looking up at the scene unfolding between the two._

_A beautiful stream with small rocks and trickling water, into what made a tiny waterfall, was just in front of them. And to top it off, these beautiful water lilies surrounded the glistening water._

_Tord turns over to Thomas and flashes him a smile that made Tom's heart race._

_"See? It's beautiful, isn't it? I thought you might like it," Tord then makes his way over to the edge of the small stream and sits down on the plush grass, gesturing over to the open space beside him._

_Tom follows and sits beside him, in awe of how beautiful it actually is. The duo sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company before Tord turns over to the side to face him, and he says something Thomas will never forget._

_"I wish we could stay this way forever."_

Tom pulls his hand into his lap, flashing a smile to himself and giving another sniff. That made him feel a lot better, he really does miss those moments. But his dumb self refuses to let them happen anymore.

Thomas looks up at the ceiling and thinks. He _needs_ to get better. He needs to try and be nicer to the commie, whether it's weird for him or not.

His mind races with all these sudden thoughts and one particular one catches his breath, a lump forming in his throat as his eyes widen.

He's in love with Tord, isn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys. The weekend got horribly busy with marching band and back to school shopping, etc. Thanks for being patient, and as always, thanks so much for reading! <3


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